Battery
A small weighty object that stores less electricity than it claims to and knows exactly when to give out.
Benchmark
The running of an application that no-one would ever run on a computer system that no-one would ever assemble using software configurations that no-one would ever deploy in order to produce a performance figure that nobody believes.
Binary
A method of counting using only 1s and 0s to represent the numbers. It’s quite workable, but it starts getting complicated if you have to count higher than one.
Bit or BIT
This is an acronym for Binary digIT and thus can be written in uppercase if you want to be pedantic, which is always a good tactic if you work in IT. Because it is a single binary digit, with a value of zero or one, it represents the smallest amount of information possible. It can do “yes” or “no”, but it can’t count up to 2 and it can’t do “maybe” or “perhaps”. You know where you are with a bit.
Blogging
The process whereby sad individuals regularly publish their inane musings on the web, possessed by the delusion that someone might actually want to read them.
Booting
The understandable and natural reaction of a computer user in respect of their computer, when it fails.
Broadband
A female rock group.
BTSOOM
I have no idea what this acronym stands for.
Buzzword
A stringent marketing standard to which all technology products must adhere through multiple mentions in all marketing materials, but which, as luck would have it, costs nothing to implement. Non-compliance leads to product failure. (Compliance, by the way, is now a buzzword).
